Process minutes: 2010-01-10

Agenda:

Hi all,
Evan Richardson, our outside facilitator for the November 2009 Skills and
Thrills event, wrote up a report of the weekend and sent it to Process
cmtee. I've copied and pasted it below for your reading pleasure. I also
have it as a word doc if someone would prefer it as an attachment let me
know. Thanks! -Jillian

Minutes:

Report on Great Oak's
Skills and Thrills Weekend
November 14 and 15, 2009

by Evan Richardson
(of Westwood cohousing in Asheville, NC)

What follows are a combination of general summary of the "effectiveness" of
the weekend in meeting the needs or goals of the community as well as some
of my reflections on the work that was done. Each of these reflections can
be seen as simple offerings to be picked up on only if they feel authentic
and useful. I learned so much from the experience of serving as
facilitator, both in terms of my own facilitation skills and experience and
as a member of a community. Many of these reflections I intend to bring
home to Westwood as offerings of a similar spirit. I want very much to let
folks at Great Oak know that the work they did together in November will not
only have an impact there at Great Oak!

*********************************************

Goals for weekend established on first conference call were to re-energize
community, re-evaluate our commitment to cohousing and Great Oak, and create
a picture of success for the future. A request for some time to evaluate
current teams and/or systems was also named. Other information that was
relevant to the planning included that a complete overhaul of the
governance/work flow system was not what was needed and that while overall
participation in the life of the community is at a fairly high level (guess
80%), there have been some decreases in individual levels of participation
from the beginning phases to now. The reasons for this change were not
exactly known, although presumed to be varied. A report of recent
interviews with individuals who had decreased their participation in meals
and meetings shed some light on this situation. The report revealed a
general sense of commitment to living in community among these individuals
with a history of some different experiences that may be "blocking"
participation, such as a feeling of not being heard, concern about
transparency with finances, concern about usefulness of certain meetings
(alternative meetings) and efficiency in use of meeting time, and a sense of
not feeling welcomed at meals due to a presence of cliques. At this point
in the life of Great Oak, there had been a certain amount of turnover, with
many original members still on site and a good number of newcomers, many of
whom may not have a clear picture of why Great Oak in the first place.

Based on this above input, a plan for the weekend was developed to help:
1.Meet the goals of the weekend -- re-energize, re-commit, and create a
picture of success for the future.
2.Allow a time for any negative feelings that have developed over the time
of living at Great Oak to be shared and heard.
3.Help bring everyone onto the same page in terms of Great Oak's history.
4.Encourage individuals to identify things that they feel passionate about
and are led or called to do as part of the picture of success for the
future.

The planning committee included Jillian, Elph, Patti, Mary, Gail, Sarah, and
Alicia. This committee was well organized and very skilled at discerning
both the overall goal for the weekend as well as what would best work in
terms of tone, framing, approach, exercises. The support the committee gave
to the facilitation was a fundamental element in the success of the
weekend's work for the community. In addition to helping with the design of
the agenda for the weekend, the attention to logistical details was done
very well, some of which was appreciated by the community (snacks, baked
goods, child care, minute taking, scribing, sound system) and others that
often just go unnoticed (room set up, supplies, attention to transitions).
The abilities of Great Oak to identify what it needs and actively support
the process of helping to make it happen is a definite strength to draw on
and not universally available at all communities.

Day 1: What is our story? What is happening now at Great Oak?

Attendance was substantial -- 28 out of 37 households, particularly on a
beautiful, sunny fall day. There was also a sense of curiosity, excitement
and openness from the individuals who did attend. It is important to credit
the advertising work that was done ahead of time for having informed and
interested folks.

Choice to set up first hour of the day outside, while seeming small, was a
great step towards new directions at Great Oak. It has been reported that
the piazza was rarely used. Part of what the weekend seemed to accomplish
was identifying the strengths right in front of you as well as areas of
growth and development. Opening the day in a rarely used setting was
symbolic of this energy. The flexibility around going with this new ideas
even at the final hour is a strength too.

Crafting the Story of Great Oak:
This exercise seemed to work well to help bring folks onto the same page
around why people chose to come to and help make Great Oak a reality. The
focus remained predominantly on pre- and very early Great Oak life and
influences which was not the original intention (the expectation was of a
broader focus from early years to the present). However, there was a
definite benefit to this focus in that it reminded folks about the core
reasons they chose Great Oak, what they were looking for when they decided
to live in community and why they chose to overcome obstacles to make Great
Oak a reality. This seems like a vital place to tap into and one that is
easily obscured by day-to-day living and the ups and downs of living in
community together. Other observations about what was shared collectively
include:
1.There seems to be a good deal of previous experience with community and/or
cooperative living among folks at Great Oak. This may be unique compared to
other cohousing communities where a predominant trend is for individuals to
experience what it is like to share resources and make decisions about how
to live together for the first time as they are also trying to build a
community. The practicality of overcoming one's enculturation is a
challenge that is integrally related to and an additional piece of obstacles
that must be overcome to create a vibrant and healthy community. My sense
is that, in some ways, Great Oak had a head start on this front.
2.There is a wide community supporting Great Oak. The stories of all of the
intersecting influences, inside of Great Oak itself, Ann Arbor and beyond,
that helped to bring individuals to the community could be mapped in a way
that would make explicit the additional resources available to Great Oak as
it journeys forward. Being intentional about not forgetting about this
network of support can be helpful.
3.There was a great sense of being a team in what was shared. Being
reminded of this is also vital to success and forward moving energy.

Several individuals expressed a desire to find a way to effectively
share the outcome of this exercise with folks who were not present as well
as continue the work of crafting the story of Great Oak. A desire for a
pictorial representation of the story and/or time line of Great Oak was
mentioned as well.

Identifying Disappointments:
Using cards for individuals to write down personal disappointments about
how their ideals for and the reality of living at Great Oak do or do not
match up was effective at opening up full participation given that each
individual was only given 1 minute to vocally share their responses. Not
everyone shared, but it seemed that everyone did fill out a card. Trying to
balance an "efficient" use of time with opening up space for authentic
sharing is always tricky. While, overall the framing of this exercise
seemed to be productive and helpful in the process of the overall work of
the weekend, there were several comments made to me privately that some
individuals did not share what was on their heart because of a concern that
the depth of what they had to share would not be well received. One process
recommendation that was made was to structure the sharing as a go around,
which, while it is always possible to pass, may have encouraged individuals
who were sitting on something to share rather than keep it to themselves.
Observations about the nature of what was shared, either vocally or on a
card:
1.Much reflected universal challenges to living in community. The reality
of living in community does not always live up to the ideals of living in
community. Learning how to effectively address this difference as
individuals and a community is an important piece of sustainability. While
the work of the weekend tangentially opened up this piece, no explicit work
was done on how do we live with this difference? What skills and approaches
can we develop to help us not lose energy as individuals and a community
through this gap?
2.There was a range of where individuals took this exercise. Some
individuals seemed to take more risks than others in what they shared, which
is likely to be multi-factorial in nature. During the evaluation an
individual named appreciation for having some time to express some of the
negative experiences and/or emotions individuals have in relation to living
at Great Oak. The reality is that they do exist. The trick comes with how
to "process" them in a way that feels safe, accessible to many, and doesn't
become a spiral into negativity. Ideally, having room for sharing the
negative experiences openly may lessen the less healthy negative sharing
that happens on the sidewalks, in the parking lot, behind the scenes. It is
not clear how much of this latter sharing is happening at Great Oak and it
seems from some of the feedback on this exercise, that Great Oak may want to
explore ways to productively incorporate intentional sharing of negative
experiences/emotions into community-wide venues. An example could be the
suggestion that was made at the end of Day 2 about wanting to see the
community begin discussion about the work system with an overall sharing of
how people are feeling about it. It is important to find the format that
works most authentically for the community. Somehow linking the sharing to
actual work being done may be more logical and more tolerable to those who
are not prone to want to witness meetings designed simply for processing
feelings.
3.The gestalt of a heart share format will change based on some parameters,
such as having it be held at night rather than in the day, presence of
children, and size of the group. The setting for the format during the
weekend kept the gestalt fairly light. This may have been just what was
needed in terms of keeping everyone at the table. A question I have is if
there is interest in experimenting with this format more in different
settings. It can be a very effective way to build bridges and facilitate
deep listening.

Identifying Successes and Areas for Growth:
The focus of this exercise was to help evaluate current systems at Great
Oak, the product of which could be used by different committees to guide
future work. It was also intentionally offered to help link what came out
during the "process" oriented aspects of the day to "action" oriented
product. It also helped to move the group energetically from focusing on
the negative, which certainly fed into the work of identifying areas of
growth, to focusing on what has been accomplished.
Observations:
1.Great Oak overall seems to be effective at using small groups well,
particularly when given explicit instructions as advised by the planning
committee. The reports together reflected an organized approach to cracking
open the different areas of life at Great Oak with a balance between, "Wow,
look at what we have done!" and "We can improve on things." While one of
the themes that came up during the sharing of disappointments was resistance
to change, the energy of the reports from the small group work was openness
to a need for changes in some areas. There was a productive generative
spirit in the work that was done. Using this format in the future may be
helpful in moving beyond what some perceive/experience as a resistance to
change, although there are likely to be many pieces of this experience.
2.The energetic end point of the small group work was one of divergence.
This is a tricky place for a group to be -- it can feel quite overwhelming
and exhausting -- "So many ideas and so much work to do." It is important
to intentionally learn how to support the community through the process of
divergence and convergence and how to be effective at bringing a group to
convergence. Openness to change and flexibility seems directly related to
how to support this process in community in that, due to different comfort
levels with hanging out in the divergence, some individuals naturally choose
to stay as far away from this as possible, which can be experienced as and a
reason for resistance to change. If one's perspective is that a community
is a living, dynamic entity (not static), then they may want to develop some
way of incorporating periodic review, evaluation, development and
improvement into the work of the community. While it does take work and
time, intentionally encouraging some process for ongoing change seems vital
to the health of any community. Doing work on a grand scale as was done
during this exercise (cracking open big systems) is not always realistic or
desirable. It is unclear how well Great Oak incorporates some system for
feedback into its ongoing work. Finding time and space to focus on smaller
aspects of your systems may be useful, if this is not currently being done,
and can be tricky when there is already enough work being done to take up
community wide meeting time. One idea is to use committees as a forum for
open feedback and evaluation. In addition surveys can be a great tool for
this. The results of a survey can be reviewed at an "open" committee
meeting that is well publicized ahead of time so that individuals who are
interested in a topic can attend and participate in discussion. Input and
ideas that are generated in this way can then we further "seasoned" by the
committee before being brought to the community as a whole, where additional
input is, ideally, sought. The end result may be a more effective use of
community time and a product that still feels like it has broad support.
3.It may be useful for there to be a process of checking in after some
period of time, say one year, to see what, if any, progress has been made in
the areas for growth and ideas that were identified by the small groups. It
is not clear who would shepherd this process. Perhaps simply asking the
appropriate committees to offer a report based on reviewing the summary
sheets that were developed for each area of life that was evaluated is the
way to get this work done. This would allow the community to reflect,
again, on what has been accomplished as well as to consider whether there
continues to be work that individuals feel called to bring into action.
Continued support for annual retreats may be linked to being able to show
the long term impact of this time and money spent by the community. A sense
of showing up to do work that is eventually lost and set aside can create a
sense that the time and money is not being used valuably.

Evaluation of Day 1:
Overall the day seemed like it was effective at helping the community
meet the overall goals for the weekend. A good deal of data was developed
and shared for future work. Energetically, the group seemed to end in an
up-beat place with a voice for making sure that the work doesn't get lost or
stop at the point of merely generating ideas. I do notice that Great Oak
seems very good at naming the positive things about meetings and that very
little input for change was shared. This may reflect an authentically
productive meeting, a general gestalt for keeping things positive, a
reflection of the energy of the group at the moment rather than a true
reflection of the entire day, some combination of these, or something else.
This isn't meant to be a reflection on something to change, just an
observation.

The dinner and dance was fun. There were many reports of it having been a
nice way to end the day and that it helped to integrate some of the sharing
of the day, that there was a sense of being more mindful of s reaching out,
connecting with and welcoming each other. While attendance for the dancing
dropped off from the number of folks who attended dinner, this is to be
expected at the end of long day. It is important for individual community
members to take care of themselves during a weekend long event.

Day 2: What gives us life? What is our vision? What are we called to do
individually and collectively?

Meeting with the planning committee in the morning was, again, such an
important element of the success of the day. Particularly the tweaks
regarding timing and framing of certain exercises and the decision to
intentionally focus the small group work on coming out with fully developed
product, including action plans. This decision seemed vital to the overall
sense of the weekend providing a nice balance between "process" and
"product." It was also helpful to review the support needed to pull of the
Conversations Cafe format.

Participation on Day 2 was less than that of Day 1. Still, it felt as if
there was a good showing and certainly enough people to do the work. It is
inevitable that there will be variation in attendance across a weekend. The
fact that there were some new faces means that overall, the participation in
some part of the weekend was broad.

Review of Work That Was Done Yesterday:
Having time to explicitly link the work that was on Day 1 with the work
of looking forward (focus of Day 2) seemed useful, particularly in terms of
helped to bring everyone to the same page, given that some new folks were
present on Day 2. It is unclear how valuable it was for me to focus on the
universality of the work done, the reality that what those of us who live in
cohousing and intentional communities are doing is a departure from what
many of us were raised with and that we are having to make our own ways
through this experiment and learning from the process of living it so it is
going to be inherently challenging at time, and the celebration of all of
the successes and accomplishments that have been achieved in the context of
all of the other elements and challenges of individual lives. The goal here
was to take a moment to reflect on Great Oak as a cup half full with many
resources and possibility, to move the group from thinking about what
doesn't work to what can be. Overall I was touched by and impressed with
what a resourceful, strong, caring, creative, effective community Great Oak
is -- this is an added bonus of being someone in the room who doesn't share
in the history, sometimes it is easier to see the resources that are
available.

Conversations Cafe:
This seemed to be a well received format. Technically it requires good
planning to pull off, although the more it is done, the less planning it
will take. Overall, the timing sequence for the format was not consistent
with what happened -- the format, even with two questions, may require more
time than was given as most groups seemed to have to rush their rounds on
question two to get done. It may also be that more experience with this
format will yield more skill with how to time the different rounds. The
outcome did seem to match what the format offers -- an opportunity for
deeper inquiry and developing connection. The format was made more
effective by having group facilitators, servers and the amazing food
provided by Debbi and Sarah.
Some of the themes and values that were identified were not explicitly
built on or incorporated into the small group work which followed. It seems
important to not lose touch with these themes, many of which seemed to
reflect the wisdom that comes out of living the experiment of community over
time and a "mature" understanding about community. What stood out to me
includes:
1.Individuals are motivated to participate by different things, some of
which may be held in common by others. The more space and understanding we
create around what motivates us, the more participation and appreciation we
may experience as a community. Specific "interventions" or "steps" to
increase participation would be best served by taking into account the
diversity of what motivates individuals. It is easy for individuals in
leadership positions to miss this diversity and then end up frustrated when
individuals are not behaving as expected.
2.There will always be tension and a need for balance around divergent
pieces of living in community:
extroverts/introverts
individual relationship with guilt -- differences in sensitivity levels to
guilt (this has a big impact on communication)
needs and demands of personal lives with needs and demands of community life
needs for individual boundaries and privacy with the inherent "fishbowl"
experience of living in community
creating a culture of authentic/deep inclusion in the context of not
everyone connecting as deeply with some individuals as with others -- can we
build community with individuals we don't necessarily like?
How does Great Oak (and other communities) learn how to effectively work
these divergent pieces in a way that honors and respects them? There is
some work around managing polarities (see
http://www.polaritymanagement.com/as a place to start) that may be
interesting to some folks and that does
address the fact that some of the things that
communities/groups/organizations end up trying to solve as "problems" are
really "unsolvable" because they are pieces of a polarity or spectrum.
Polarities are best managed with intentional balance and focus on how to
harness the positive aspects of the elements and avoid moving into the
negative aspects of living either element to the extreme. There is a great
deal of energy lost in trying to solve polarities as problems.
3.The overall picture of success for Great Oak in 10 years is one that seems
to reflect the process of continued maturation and growth as a community.
The picture reflects, in my mind, what a vital and healthy community
"should" look like over time -- deepening in its ability to nurture
diversity, accountability, fun/beauty/joy, balance between stability and
flexibility/change, being effective at getting work done in a way that
builds energy rather than draining it, a sense of trust, and an ability to
address the realities of life (aging, ecological sustainability) This is
part of seeing Great Oak as a living, dynamic entity. It seems important to
have some group at Great Oak consciously reflecting on how to support this
natural process of growth in a way that helps foster and encourage a
sustainable and healthy path. Again, it is tricky to find time and space
for this longer term work in the midst of all of the day to day living that
we do in community. Having a process of an annual retreat is a strength in
this regard. It may also work to remind committees, as part of the "gift
giving" from the weekend, to consider how, over time, their work can help
foster some of the picture of success for Great Oak in 10 years that came
out of the weekend. How can Great Oak foster this long term work?

Interest Group Meetings:
The focus was to explicitly gather around an area of passion and
interest. This comes from my own bias that work that comes out of passion
ends up creating energy and a positive life building sense, rather than
feelings like just one more thing that has to be done. Groups were
encouraged to consider subdividing if multiple areas of interest if several
were identified. The product was for 1 or 2 items to be worked all the way
through to completion, including an action plan. Three of the groups
followed through to this end, with one group keeping its work at a larger
picture level, focusing on generating ideas without concrete plans. It was
helpful that many of this "maverick" group's ideas were picked up on for
action during the reporting time with some active facilitation around how do
we move these ideas forward? In general, it was also helpful that there was
not too much of this to do at the end. My sense is that the "product" from
the weekend would not have been as strong. It is important to recognize
that being able to generate good ideas and put them into action are valuable
skills in community and that not everyone is gifted or drawn to each
equally. There were a number of "frustration" comments shared about how
good folks were at generating ideas and how often there was no one to take
them on. This situation is an energy drainer for a group and involves a
number of different elements. Some things to keep in mind include (but are
not limited to):
How do we encourage people to organize around their passion and make sure
that all essential work is done?
Are we good at supporting each others ideas and passions/interests? How can
we improve our ability to do this, including "seasoning" ideas in a way that
doesn't "squash" them?
Is there a need for more skills in how to translate an idea into an action
plan? (Note, in some groups, there may also be a need for more skills in
how to effectively generate ideas.)
How do we recognize when an idea that is generated may need to be placed in
a longer-term queue and do so in a way that it doesn't get lost and is
honored? Basically how do we balance sustainable pacing with encouraging
new ideas?
Again, the timing for the small group exercises exceeded the amount of
time available for it -- the process of working one idea through to
completion may require more than 30 minutes, even when there has been an
opportunity for previous input on the idea, as was the case for some of the
ideas that were fleshed out during this exercise.
In terms of the actual product, there was a nice mix between very
concrete items (such as community service project, shared vehicle, round
robin dinners, thank you notes for service, decreasing the asphalt) and
bigger system reviews (evaluation of meals program, opening up how people
feel about the work system which may lead to more open evaluation of this
system). The outcomes organically fell into some more short-term and
long-term items as well as more "action oriented" and "process oriented"
items. In addition, it was nice to have individuals take responsibility for
the work in a way that did not leave individual committees feeling burdened.

What Am I Called to Do?:
So glad there was time for this element as it energetically took the
community into a very positive place -- the fruit of the work that was done
together during the weekend was made explicit. It was also useful that some
individuals who just showed up at the end jumped in on the "stepping up to
the plate." There is a sense that some important openings and shifts
happened during the weekend. Obviously, time will tell if this is the case.

Evaluation of the Weekend:
Overall it seems the work of the weekend did match the goals for the
weekend. There was broad participation, eventhough there will be some
waxing and waning over the course of a weekend. There was a sense of good
balance between sharing deeply with each other and coming up with concrete
ideas and plans. There was a sense of fun and enjoyment. Splitting the
retreat into two smaller chunks on two different days allowed for more
people overall to participate, maintained energy levels, allowed for some
reflection to occur from one day to the next (which can only help with
deeper integration of the work done), and created an opportunity to
effectively tweak plans for Day 2 to more specifically meet the needs of
where the group was at the end of Day 1 and more effectively meet the
overall goals for the weekend. Having both days followed with an
opportunity to eat together helped to sustain the connections develop during
the work and brought folks who weren't able to be present during the day
into the "vibe" of the weekend.
The minute taking abilities of Jillian and Catherine are an important
resource for the community. I am glad that this got noticed and
appreciated. They did such a good job of capturing the work that was done,
that I did not feel a need to recapitulate that in this report, although I
am attaching one documents I created as part of the process of synthesizing
raw data from the small group work on Day 1. A specific report of this work
was not offered by me on Day 2 and so will not have been included in the
minutes.

I am also glad that other individual efforts were appreciated (food,
child care, meeting support, meals, entertainment)-- it takes a lot of work
to pull off a weekend retreat, particularly in a way that feels so seamless
and well nurtured.

Again, I am grateful for this opportunity to work with you. I felt well
supported. The hospitality was great. I enjoyed getting to know Great Oak
as a community as well as certain individuals more personally. I will plan
on checking in later in the year to see how things have developed as a
result of this work that you did together and that I had the honor of
participating in and witnessing.
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