![Minutes: Process 2004-07-27 [Minutes]](display/images/gocohologo.gif)
Process minutes: 2004-07-27
Minutes:
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Process cmtee meeting
July 27, 2004
7:15pm
Present: Sarah, [[Elph]], Sweet Jim, Gail, Jillian, Amy H, Amy's dad Carl, Mel
AGENDA
1. Check ins
2. Monkeys
3. Book of Agreements database, guidance for Willie
4. review Process jobs for work committee
5. more details about an all day training event for the fall, discuss how to get community input on what folks want training on
6. check-in on "what we learned" list from b-ball process - i.e. "open mike" at last meeting
7. Recent noise exchange on email
8. Next meeting
2.
Done - MONKEY: Jillian will put a card out for Sandra at the meeting on Monday.
Done - MONKEY: Amy H will finish the agreements binder and will put it in the common house sitting room, with labels, and will let Helen know to print out new agreements and put them in there as they happen.
Done - MONKEY: At the next meeting [[Elph]] will present the common house usage policy as a reminder to the group.
Done - MONKEY - Sarah will write up goals/feature list for the electronic book of agreements
Done - MONKEY: (Amy did this once but will check back again): Amy H will talk with Malcolm, about someone from membership getting together with Bill as soon as possible and going over the binder of agreements, or at least the membership packet and any agreements that seem the most urgent.
Re-MONKEY: [[Elph]] will order gift basket next week.
Re-MONKEY: Jim Sw will talk with Susan when she gets back, see if she'd be willing to do mini trainings in the near future, what kind of help/support she'd need from process if she's willing.
Re - MONKEY: Jillian will send out an email with these three dates, will ask people to let me know which they could NOT make it to, and Jillian will ask again on Monday.
Re- MONKEY: Sarah is talking with Sandra about getting copies of sunward process agreements
Re-MONKEY for Finance cmtee - when the "Can't pay your dues" agreement is finished they should please email it to process cmtee
Re-MONKEY: [[Elph]] and Jim Sweeton will work on the revisiting decisions agreement.
Re-MONKEY - Sarah heard back from two people re: how their work is going. She will contact the others in person to get some feedback.
MONKEY - AmyH will remind Membership re: picking a date for a GO / Touchstone community meal at GO and inviting Touchstone to join us. A part of the evening would include a chance for GO members to learn about the Touchstone site plan.
Re-MONKEY - Jillian will check with Tree about suggestions for info on community organization structures
Re-MONKEY - Jillian will check with Sandra and Bea and Ruth at the Michigan Friends Center about possibly doing a GO training - Jillian talked a bit with Sandra, will wait to do more until process has more clarity about what we want to do.
FREEZER
Make sure there is money in the budget for a new easel next year
3. Book of Agreement Database
We went thru Sarah's list that she came up with (yay Sarah!), guidance for Willie for book of agreements, and gave a few suggestions.
Make a list at the top of what's to go in - community agreements, community meeting minutes.
Question about "norms" or "guidelines" or "understandings" rather than official agreements - where do those go? Eg, the minutes guidelines, info about consensus process, the "unofficial" guidelines that are floating around like everyone should be working on one committee, etc. Are they to go in the electronic database, or just in a hardcopy binder? Jury is still out.
What about committee minutes? Seems like those should be on the wikki.
MONKEY: Sarah will talk with Willie about next steps on the book of agreements database
4. Review Process jobs for work committee
Process is rolling the bulletin board job into archivist.
[[Meeting]] setup and restore people - we're heard that people want that to go away. The facilitators are directing it in any case.
AGREED - we'll nix that position and make sure the facilitators know that it is now their responsibility.
Minute takers and timekeepers - how is it going? Is it ok to only have 2 or do they want more?
MONKEY: Sarah will check in with them.
What about contingency hours? When the b'ball issue was up, Sarah was spending loads of time convening meetings. And we'll have a training this fall. Seems like a good idea for process to have contingency hours. And people can swap maybe when one person uses contingency hours other than the "assigned" person.
In a normal 3 month season the 3 hours for one facilitator slot should work out.
Conflict resolution team - Jim Sw and Susan each had 2 hours this season, need to add Tim.
We need Willie to continue.
MONKEY: Sarah will check in with Willie about this.
Melisa seems to be content as infoco convenor as well.
MONKEY: Jillian will check in with Melisa to make sure she'd like to do that.
Process will only need 12 hrs instead of 16.
COOLER: In Sept need to make sure the facilitators, minute takers, timekeepers pick their dates.
We need our committee meeting minutes to be on the wikki site. new job? Sarah would be interested in doing it.
5. more details about an all day training event for the fall
MONKEY: Jillian will send out another date email and maybe an item on Wed too.
How to get community input on what folks want training on.
I like the idea of activities around trust building rather than talking about how we're different.
one idea for a community meeting - getting some agenda time, breaking people up into small groups. throwing out 3 questions about things that have been hard about living at GO. Each person write their responses, share in small group, talk about what they think might have helped them in dealing with the hard situations and what they'd like to do about it, and groups report back to whole group.
Then, what skills or tools would you like to deal with these situations, to help you cope or adapt or understand your situation.
First step is to get people in the mode of what has been challenging. Then they can think about why it was challenging, and then what they think might help them.
Is small groups the best idea? And do we want to delve into really difficult personal situations at this point in the meeting?
I would need to know the questions ahead of time, personally. But we don't want to deter people from coming, if they think its going to be hard.
People don't have to get specific -" I've found it hard to talk with a neighbor about an issue."
There's another issue for me - some trust building. There's exercises you can do. I think we just need to build it in whatever we do.
Whatever feedback we get we don't have to follow but its good to get ideas.
Or we could just pull out the pieces process has come up with and ask for feedback, popcorn style.
Make a presentation of some of the ideas we've thought of. have a flip chart, go over them, hand out index cards and people could write additional ideas.
Put them up on the wall, collect index cards and add the additional ideas too? Then do a dot storm?
Framing this -
We knew we would be facing unique challenges in our first year as a community - we did not know what they would be, but now we do know, at least some of them!
what kinds of skills and resources and tools would you like to have to handle conflicts that are going to come up.
20 minutes?
steps
a) - someone goes over a flip chart of the ideas
b) - option 1 - break into small groups and have people write index cards of additional ideas, or option 2 - just have people do this on their own.
c) write up the ideas
d) dot storm
MONKEY: Sarah will provide her index cards and pens.
MONKEY: Mel, AmyH, and JimSw will work on this.
6. check-in on "what we learned" list from b-ball process - i.e. "open mike" at last meeting
How did the open mike go? I thought it went well. People spoke up. Idea is to do that every other meeting.
COOLER: Facilitate committee meetings with more structure - how process can support other committees. And convenor support group.
7. Noise discussion
Where should this go next? The gist of the email exchange was that people should approach eachother directly, and committees directly, about issues that come up.
Its really hard to set whole community "quiet hours" - it depends on season, type of noise, part of the community, etc. But we do need people to be aware of eachothers needs. And also flexibility in high density housing, compromises, adjusting to a place that may be noisier than where they came from for some, and quieter than where they came from for others.
Seems like parking lot etiquette and noise inside the community are two different kinds of issues, the second is trickier.
Scenarios in small groups? - make up some loud noise scenarios, and people could brainstorm what could be done.
Some things are committee level, if a lawnmower wakes you up email grounds and ask about setting mowing hours so there is a clear understanding.
There's an awareness raising issue too. Our telephone is by our front door and when our door is open we stand by the front door and talk on the phone that really carries. We did not realize this, it helped to be told.
8. Next meeting
Wednesday, Aug 11, 7:15, at Jim Sweeton's.
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Addendum 1 from the last process meeting minutes
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Sarah emailed this below to process, suggestions that Susan King and some other GOers emailed to her.
Possible half or full day training topics
Half day - I'm not in control!
Summary -
Acknowledge that we are all now living in a situation that is new to us. We no longer have the same kind of control over things that impact our quality of life as we used to. Provide tools for understanding common ways people respond to this situation and offer alternative solutions that build community and trust.
Content:
- Identify/describe different styles of responding to a feeling of "lack of control."
- Identify/describe the strengths and weaknesses of these different styles.
- Invite people to describe/identify which styles they find themselves using.
- Offer alternative coping skills/tools and how to coach ourselves and others to try new responses.
- Role playing to contrast old and new ways of responding
Half day - Who are you?
Summary -
Part I - Acknowledge that none of our tried and true relationship categories of family, friends and co-workers really fit the kinds of relationships we are forming with many of our GO neighbors. Provide tools for identifying/forming a broader range of types of relationships.
Part II - Acknowledge that we are mostly used to building relationships with people who are "like us." At GO we will have relationships with people who have different personal and social values than us. Provide tools/understanding for how to foster relationships based on respect for differences instead of what we have in common.
Content:
Part I - Can you relate?
- Describe and name different kinds of relationships, identify expectations for each type.
- talk about what it feels like/what happens when expectations for a relationship don't match the type of relationship it is.
- compare contrast to kinds of relationships we are building with GO neighbors. Come up with some names for these different kinds of relationships.
- Talk about expectations for these new "GO relationships", how they're different what feels awkward or like a relief
Part II - The spice of life
This is basic diversity training stuff:
- First exercise: Have the group identify assumptions we make individually and as a group about the values/political/religious views/life experience of GO community members.
- Ask community members to write (anonymously) their actual views/values on 3x5 cards and post them for people to look at. Get group to talk about what surprised them or what assumptions were being made that were not accurate.
- Second exercise: Ask group to describe what behaviors make them feel welcomed in a new setting. What does that feel like? Then ask group to describe what behaviors make them feel unwelcome or resented in a new setting. What does that feel like?
- Draw from previous discussion to identify community norms for how we want to be treated and how we want to treat other people.
Specific skills/exercises for mini-trainings
Mine or ours?
- Present some methods and techniques for discerning if a concern is an individual concern or if it's a community-wide concern and what to do in each case. We need to give community members a couple of techniques or litmus tests for figuring this out, as well as info on how to proceed for each type of concern.
A related question is, "What resources does the community have for addressing individual concerns?"
I am a little concerned that it appears some folks individual concerns are "OK" and others' aren't.
NIMBY
- Tools to help identify a range of solutions to individual or community concerns, instead of all-or-nothing solutions. Brainstorm ways an individual or household can explore and implement these kinds of solutions within the community's current processes.
- break into small groups and do this exercise with a problem scenario: make a list/description of your ideal solution and then make a list/description of your worst-case-scenario. Then work backwards from each until you get to something you can live with. Next, identify what parts of the solution you as an individual can implement and what parts need committee/community input or support to implement. In real life the next step would be to contact the committee convener for a conversation about your concerns and how best to bring your idea to the committee.
Building community without going to a meeting
- Skills for how to listen to and respond to your neighbor kvetch about a community issue or other community member in a way that builds community and fosters respect for individuals and community processes.
It would probably be helpful to let folks know that this is probably the single most important thing you can do at GO to build community, and you don't even have to go to a special meeting to do it!
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Community Input
From a member:
I've been thinking that many people are feeling disenfranchised, that their ideas get slammed as soon as they are put out to the community. I was thinking that we need some work on what it really means to live in community and have to discuss everything... not just *do it* the way we might in a private home. I have no idea what to call that, but there you go.
Also, I've been marveling at how we apply "sustainable" to so many different things. Some people apply it to our land and want to feed the birds and rabbits, but love to eat meat; others apply it to food--eat only vegetarian--but might use perfumed soap. Could we do some training about how different our definitions of our mission might be and how we could respect those differences?
From a member:
One piece of the information/communication issue that I don't think was discussed was some training for individuals. One of the things that has bothered me about some interactions or emails I've had from people is the tone of their voice or email. Just because you are angry doesn't mean you can come out screaming. In our search for improving communication, let's not focus only on the committees.
Individuals need to understand, that in the spirit of community, you need to approach people in a manner you would like to be approached. If my kids use rude words or a rude voice, I tell them to try again until they can use their nice words and a nice voice. I expect nothing less of adults invested in the idea of community.
I understand that we all need to adapt to each other's styles. But, people must understand that if they come out screaming and shooting things down, they may not be listened to. I, and probably most people, shut down when confronted that way and automatically decide to discount that person's comments. It is very hard for me to care about a person's concerns when they are not attempting to deal with their anger diplomatically.
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Minutes from the last process meeting where we talked about the above:
5. Fall Training Ideas
See doc below that Sarah emailed out to process. Ideas submitted by various people. Plus membership cmtee was interested in diversity training for GOers. Membership cmtee also wanted there to be trust building.
Discussion around one of the items, about how we communicate with eachother. If you have an emotional charge around something, what do you do with that.
Gail - I talked with Jim Johnson - I don't think its a realistic thing to work with him this year, we don't have enough money budgeted. I brought a copy of the part that I thought was relevant to us of what he does - collaborative dialog. He saw it as a full day with a morning talking about dialog. And then the afternoon being more specific and working with facilitators rather than the whole group.
We have $700 left in our budget for the rest of the year, for both a training and for more outside facilitation if we need it. Not a lot.
Sarah mentioned that she had recently done a training in conflict resolution at the Friend Center. Who gave the training? Membership cmtee - talked about people not communicating well, escalating the emotions instead of helping. That falls into what Susan King wrote about below - "Building Community without going to a meeting." This would be part of a good conflict resolution training. Its not something we automatically know how to do - to approach someone we have a difference of opinion with, and have a constructive, solution seeking conversation.
need to find an inexpensive trainer and the materials to make it fit for us.
I wonder if Sarah has any materials from that friends center training? We can ask.
Who are our local resources: Sandra, Clair Tinkerhess - Peace Talks. Also people within GO/Sunward. With $700 as our maximum we should not try to get someone from a distance - we can't afford them.
It is our diversity that leads to the friction. Diversity of different people's viewpoints and approaches to problems and styles of communicating and ages etc etc.
Mini Trainings are a great idea - Susan wrote up some below - feeling that we need this urgently - lets not wait until fall to do anything. maybe she could lead one a month? As a slightly long icebreaker?
MONKEY: Jim Sw will talk with Susan when she gets back, see if she'd be willing to do this in the near future, what kind of help/support she'd need from process if she's willing.
Idea of the retreat, we talked about at the last meeting, as well. You mean go away somewhere over night? That would be ideal. It can be a great way to bring people together, and yet, a great way to produce separation for those who don't go... Hard for it to be practical, financially, time, logistics...
Can we foster a "retreat" atmosphere without going away? We can get creative about this. If we were not allowed to use electricity - bonding experience. :)
Should we pick a weekend as a next step for the training day idea? Or two? I remember people didn't like September, when [[Elph]] and I proposed the facilitator's training 2 years ago, too much starting up, maybe try October. Don't coincide with home games. Oct 2, Oct 16, 23 are Saturdays that do NOT have home games.
MONKEY: Jillian will send out an email with these three dates, will ask people to let me know which they could NOT make it to, and Jillian will ask again on Monday.
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Addendum 2 just so we keep in fresh in the minutes:
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List from the 6/22 full community meeting with Sandra - brainstorm
What to do more of in future
- take responsibility to stay up to speed on issues
- read minutes and proposals that are posted on bulletin board and email
- post minutes on email and bulletin board
- develop structures for addressing individual needs
- empower committees - create criteria they can follow, proceduces cmtees can follow
- have an open mike at every other community meeting for people to voice concerns
- at every other community meeting pass a talking stick
- triage - not everything to full community level - infoco
- advance announcements of meeting times
- facilitate committee meetings with more structure
- work more to shift from adversarial to advocational model
- helpers - communication - process advocates
- need more detail in revisiting consensus decisions policy
What we need to do less of
- group think at the committee level
- we didn't put enough detail in our revisiting decisions policy
- individual AND community perspectives, not VERSUS. s
- being more proactive to ferret out individual concerns - surface them ahead rather than wait for them to get explosive.
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