Process minutes: 2019-10-15
Agenda:
10/15/2019Process cmtee meeting together with CRC
6:45-8:30 pm CH sitting room
Present: Yi-miau, Patti, Jillian, Bob, Terrence, Susan (by phone)
Agenda:
1.CRC’s plan/support for the next season; present at a community meeting
2.Next meeting
Minutes:
Did not get to:Monkey Review
Work season assignments
November training 11/16/19
January skills and thrills 1/11-1/12/20 - facilitation funding?
Agreement reconsideration proposal
Update on StandAsides / blocks discussion
Go over our current minute taking guidelines
1.CRC met last Tuesday - Bob, Terrence, Yi-miau and Susan. Erik K was not
there. Covered a lot of things in the meeting.
Terrence - the meeting was helpful, to hear about others’ experiences.
Also talked about how we approach conflict. A lot of shared practice -
approach the indiv first and then listen to perspectives on each side. Then
ask what they would like to do next, if they need support. Rarely do they
need to bring both parties into formal conflict resolution though that does
happen sometimes. And they shared techniques - like the principle of LARA -
listen, affirm, respond, add. I think the community did do some exercises
in this but its been a very long time. Also talked about non-violent
communication NVC.
Bob - also talked about ABC - acceptance, balancing, clarifying. Understand
one frame, then understand the other frame, then in the dialog try to
expand the frames, so you can get to some overlap of the frames. Balance -
trying to establish physical, emotional and mental balance.
In terms of asking questions, a few useful phrases like, “up til now”,
helps people talk about experience up to now but open to change. “Holding a
beginner’s mind without assumptions” also “help me understand how you are
feeling”.
NVC, “when I see/observer/imagine this, I feel this, I need this, would
you be willing to…”
FYI, TS sends out a template for people invited to a CRC session. We will
start with A talking about their perspective and B will then be describing
what you have heard from A. Then reverse roles. The last part of the
session is the request for both A and for B, what would you be willing to
do. Made it more explicit what to expect in the CRC session. And they also
have ten points that they share with that template. Eg, no running away, no
yelling, its ok to take a break, etc. And that if its recurring then maybe
we need to ask for outside resources. In the last few years they’ve worked
on this a lot.
In GO we approach separately mostly, first.
We were thinking about getting back to Process - about information back to
the cmty:
Introducing CRC in the new season
CRC reporting back to the community at some point, at least annually
What if during the report back we also had the community do a little
exercise, an active listening exercise or something.
As process I don’t have a strong a vision for what has to happen at a
community meeting, but just that I want to make sure the community
remembers that we have a CRC and that they have an important role to play,
that using CRC builds community, and that people should turn to them for
help to work through issues.
I think the nature of some issues can be shared - what kind of issues often
come up when you live together. Yi-miau has some more general cases that
can be shared. Working with committees, with people with different
personalities and skill levels and styles, etc.
I like the idea of an exercise.
TS has done some workshops - introducing CRC as life-giving. When you are
able to resolve a conflict it brings opportunity and open heartedness.
I think GO community tends to hold things in a bit. Avoids dealing with
things, maybe sees them as “smaller” so they don’t deal with it. How to
encourage people to take advantage of this resource. People have to be
proactive and it helps to recognize that CRC is here and wanting to help.
I’d be willing to help even if I did not see something as a problem or
conflict. Setting a context like this, a norm like this, is helpful, in
that its helpful for you to understand why CRC might approach you even if
you don’t feel there’s an issue, if a neighbor feels there’s an issue and
needs your help. Seeking cooperation to help others work through conflict
and feel more connected.
MONKEY: Susan and Yi-miau can sit down and discuss what CRC can do at a
community meeting, and do a presentation. Give people a sense of where
things are at for CRC in recent past and in future.
Bob discussed his method a bit more. If A has a problem with B and A comes
to Bob, Bob would then seek to spend more time with B to make some more
connections with then and see if the issue might come out informally.
For me that would take too much time, am not around enough, the issue might
be time sensitive.
For me that feels a bit off, could be seen as somewhat disingenuous.
We each have different styles.
I like that we are meeting with Process. Bob’s "walk-around" approach.
Maybe CRC and membership should sit down and have a meeting and talk about
coordination. Welcoming people, talking to people, community norms, that is
not CRC but is just groundwork that helps people feel more comfortable in
the community and more comfortable in working with CRC.
I think sometimes you can anticipate things and see things that might
become a problem.
Totally agree. As a good neighbor I think we should all be modeling this.
Membership can help encourage this, model this.
We never made a connection between Membership cmtee and CRC. This kind of
‘walking around and connect with people’ role lays groundwork for helping
CRC connect.
At TS and/or Sunward CRC election is a formal process, full community
process to endorse candidates. They have nominations and the three who get
the most nominations are on it?
Interesting idea. Would have to happen during the previous work season.
CRC person does not have to be someone who has been here for years and
years. Personality and way of being is really part of it. Being
approachable, caring, good listener, openness, capable of holding a neutral
space.
Do we need to do an orientation with Erik before we announce CRC? Will try
to reach out to him again. That’s a month from now, so hopefully will hear
back from him by then.
Do we have a meeting targeted? Susan is out of town 11/6, but available on
11/18. Might be hard to do a 20 minute item during a budget decision
meeting though. Another idea is to shoot for 12/4, Process could take that
alternative meeting to do an exercise and could do the CRC item then too.
I like the idea of making an announcement during announcements on 11/6 who
is on CRC and send it out on email.
MONKEY: Yi-miau will announce at the 11/6 meeting who is on CRC the next
term, and she or Susan will also send that out via email.
MONKEY: Susan will also bring this idea to the October membership meeting.
Susan feels there are some issues going on not being talked about. Need to
create some kind of opening. Much to do with work system. Membership and
CRC can talk together about this, and help convey that its ok, we can talk
about it, we can resolve it, we’re all part of the same community.
People are so cautious that the conversation will be too big. So how to
create a compassionate space and encourage opinions and feelings to come
out and then commit to work it through.
Can involve process too.
Bob - suggestion to use the concept of elders from Bob’s past experience,
going out and talking to people, helping to understand what the issues are,
and then once there’s a collective understanding then we can bring it to a
meeting.
Bob can you help us see what’s the 1, 2, 3 of that - what are the steps?
Membership could create a group willing to work on this. They’d identify
who are the people/subgroups who seem to be frustrated. Then someone goes
to each one, lets understand where they’re coming from. Then membership
comes back together and tries to get a sense for common ground or if more
info is needed. If a principle was violated we’d discuss the principle.
But to me that’s the work we have to do as a whole community, listen to
eachother and then find the common ground, and the solution that best fits
the full picture, as a whole.
For example conflict brewing between work cmtee and meals cmtee. Work cmtee
has been returning shifts back to meals to look for volunteers. Meals
unhappy but Work feels like community is pushing back hard on hours. This
would be a place to have someone neutral from Membership or CRC come in and
listen.
Meals frustration is that this is a backdoor way of reducing meals. Work
frustration is that there’s so much pressure from the community, so many
people requesting reduced hours that they have no choice.
Bob - What are the expectations and needs. When there was a conflict there
was some issue with a principle, how do we move in the direction of
following a principle. Always the large group coming together with that
discussion.
MONKEY: Jillian will assign Patti the Dec 4 alternative meeting. We can
either do a shorter CRC item and exercise and the powerpoint presentation
Patti has, on “Effective Communication and Handling Conflict” that she does
for the ICC, or a longer discussion by CRC/Membership, whichever is decided
as it gets closer.
Feels to me like the conversation we may need to have about work is at a
new level.
Hm but I think we’ve been talking about work for years.
How do we engage people in the work of the community, people not signing up
for work, feeling disenfranchised. Sense of tiredness in the community.
How to involve people who are disengaged.
Bob - maybe the frames have shrunk, frames are narrowing, and the part of
the frame that is understanding of what it is to be part of a healthy
community is sometimes outside the frame now and needs to come back in.
Some people aren’t seeing their life frame as including community. This is
possible even here. Sense of inclusion of people who are on the outside is
not as strong. People who don’t seem themselves as a part.
I think we need to remind ourselves, and talk about, what does it take to
have a healthy community. What kind of mindset do we need on a day to day
basis to be able to function as a community and why that is so helpful, why
everyone’s lives are better with that. The ease and relaxation and
advantages of it. So how can we improve to keep us a community. Maybe it
needs to be refreshed, reminded.
Process wants to be supportive. That sounds like skills and thrills but
we’re using it for the master deed. But the Jan skills and thrills is
really the 2019 one, using the 2019 funds, so 2020 skills and thrills can
be anytime in 2020.
Thanks for coming CRC. Process did not have time to get to other agenda
items, postponed until next meeting.
Next process meeting
11/4/19 6:45pm-8:15pm
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