Process minutes: 2017-10-29

Agenda:

sorry, realized the initial draft never went out to the BOA address,
thanks, -Jillian

Minutes:

Tri-community facilitator's brunch, hosted by Elizabeth at Touchstone
10/29/2017
12-1:30
Present: Elizabeth (TS), Lesli (TS), Elph (GO), Olas (GO), Patti (GO),
Jillian (GO)

TS is having an issue with people not really willing to facilitate even in
an emergency (facil had to travel due to death in the family). People
saying they want to be trained to be better meeting participants, rather
than facilitators. Community training. So they will discuss with Laird. May
pare down facilitator training since many of those folks don't really want
to facilitate anyway, and find a way to train larger group in meeting
skills. What is consensus. What is a good participant.

Some TS people don't want to be managed, they want some kind of magic and
think its the facilitator's responsibility. So we need to get clear,
meetings are everyone's responsibility. The facil can help, with tools, but
if you don't accept the use of the tools it won't help. TSers saying they
don't see enough "results" from training yet.

But TS has had only one weekend training so far! From GOs experience, after
only one training you don't leap in and feel confident at all - in fact the
opposite - now you know what you don't know and its really clear you don't
know it yet and can feel discouraged.

I would encourage some push back, you have to wait until the training is
over before evaluating it. You don't just know the "facts" of facilitation
and then are skilled in it. It takes time to create a sense of self around
it. That's unrealistic.

Idea was to do four weekends over two years. TS is paying some and
individuals are paying some. Have to approve the funds for the next
trainings.

Agenda is the roadmap to the outcome that you are looking for and facil is
the servant of the group.

I think there's been a lot of crossover at TS of people facilitating and
also leading content - creates a difficult dynamic.

So how do you want to change the training?

Discuss TS thinking of paring down facil training, fewer people, people who
really do want to facilitate.

Keep in mind though that the parts that the community needs to learn can
take a lot less time and does not need Laird to teach it. Don't make it
parallel. Can do it more quickly.

Laird's strength is facilitation and really strongly engaged facilitation.

At TS we have strong personalities who stop the process of a meeting. But
these are the same people questioning if facilitation training is working,
who resist facil techniques when the facil tries to manage their input in
the meeting.

Have you tried discussing one on one, outside the meeting, with those with
challenging meeting behavior?

Peacekeepers could help with a discussion.

Have tried, have gotten a response of, "no I don't want to talk with you
about it outside the meeting."

Still worth trying, compassionate member of the community sit down with
them and share their perspective.

At TS we have certain people who shoot everything down, critical, and also
feel sensitive that they aren't being heard at the same time. A few people
who can't accept the group moving on and not fully agreeing with their
perspective. Shuts things down, burning out the group.

This is not uncommon in groups and there are processes to deal with it.

But I feel we lack the agreement to do so.

Any proposal brought forward should have a clear purpose and outcome. That
is agenda planning work, managed by facilitator.

The blocks are not usually outright - its more passive than that.

The type of input can be facilitated. A change in the culture that can
happen by positive outcomes to situations that are sometimes dire. Getting
to know what the right response is, what the common values are.

Example of member who says I'm not in favor of community-wide internet, I
have my own comcast and this would not benefit me.

Need to have a solid community understanding that community means that you
give up some things and get other things. You define it that way - you use
X and Y, you may not use Z but that's ok. A group working together can
solve this kind of dynamic. You can change people's behavior and build up
that resilience and capacity so every member would say, oh I don't use the
CH bathroom myself but I know we have to buy toilet paper. If everyone says
that about all the resources it changes the culture, helps teach people,
change the overall perspective.

TS, we burn our leadership out and facil training shows the fray. Burning
out before we even develop the skills.

Panic is a natural thing to have happen after one facil training - you feel
down about it, realizing its hard.

Discussion about stand asides and blocks.

GO does not have an agreement that X number of stand asides equals a "do
not move forward right now". It really depends on the kind of topic /
proposal, in GOs process.

Laird had a lot of suggestions for TS, they were good but they do require a
lot of work - "D&R" - duties and responsibilities - writing them up.

Elph - insight I had about burnout - the biggest component to burnout is
expectations. Its not actually anything doing it, its that whatever is
going on has surpassed expectations. Expectation we want all the D&Rs in 6
months. Reality is its 9 months. If the expectations are not able to
calibrate, to move, then you will have burn out. Sometimes I have to reset
my expectations to prevent my own burnout. When I see myself
procrastinating etc, I stop and ask myself, why? i need to reset my own
expectations.

What about bad meeting behavior making people bail?
Expectations - as a good participant you have expectations of other meeting
participants too. That needs to be communicated to others, widely
communicated.

I feel like the expectation at TS is the facilitators will make it right,
and quickly. The people who are the toughest in the meeting have the
highest level of expectation that it be "made right". Not my job to make it
right.

You have to be detached from content but not from process. As facil you
have to read the people and the needs of those people and help manage the
process so that they can be heard and feel good about their contribution.
Sounds like you are taking on the expectations of those people. You are in
the game for a longer term. You know the big picture of the community
owning the process over time.

People are sensitive and they cry after facilitating a plenary. Some people
at TS feeling like they don't want to facil any more.

I know I have a problem with facilitating topics that have content I feel
strongly about.

Yes that can be an issue.

If you can identify these clear problems in terms of behavior and
understand how it fits with the big picture then you're already further
along than many groups who just know its not working well. And know that
once these problems are solved there will be other problems. There will
always be problems, just more subtle ones.

"Game" to try with the group - make an agreement with the group at the
start of a meeting, just to try it - when any proposal is made, the first 5
comments, or 5 minutes etc, has to be enthusiasms - what's good about it,
what do you like about it. "Put your community 'lens' on, say what you like
about it", and work on improving it.

"Yes and" not "yes but". Ask the participants to come at it that way. What
do you agree on, that is your "yes" part. And how are you going to improve
it, thats the "and" part.

Its not really about the concerns about the proposal - that's a trap - its
how do we need to improve the proposal so we can move forward.

ICC (Inter cooperative council, student coop network in town) has a
formulaic set of steps. Something goes to a reconciliation cmtee and then
it comes back to the group.

Obligation to work on something outside of the meeting if you don't like it
as is, and if not, then you have to let it go.

A committee should never bring an either-or to the plenary floor, waste of
time. Can bring multiple ideas for discussion if you want to get ideas on
which way to go, but never a proposal that is either-or, that is dividing.

We've had cmtees bring idea discussions pre-proposal, to gather more info
ahead of time, to help them figure out which diretion to flesh out into a
proposal.

NASCO - is in two weeks. Attending Facil 101 sessions as an idea.

Someone from GO who did the 2 year training - maybe come talk to TS, how
was it for you.That you really needed the whole 2 years; that you felt
overwhelmed or discouraged during it? Sarah as an idea? She struggled at
one point during the training and was not sure we wanted to continue. And
she's an excellent facilitator. Also Patti is willing to do this too, yay!

Next Tri-Facil group meeting - January 21, 2018, 12-2, at GO unless Sunward
wants to host - Jillian will check in with Rowena and Ralph.
--end--
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