Process: Infoco minutes: 2015-02-14

Agenda:

Infoco (facilitators) brunch
10am to noon, unit 18
Present: Sarah, Amy, Mary, Elph, Jillian, Susan, Patti, Glen for brunch

AGENDA
Brunch!
Discuss the April 1 alternative meeting
Set our next alt meeting and next infoco brunch

Minutes:

Now that our new members have been here a little while, what would be
helpful to know more about our processes. And existing members could talk
about how its been for them.

Idea - find out, have new members made observations wondering why is
something like it is at GO.

What occurs to me - there's things you learn from membership which is nuts
and bolts, but then there's the cultural things that are harder. Cultural
norms - if someone has blinds on your front door and they're closed, that
often means don't knock on the door. (Then we got in to a discussion
amongst ourselves, does that only apply in summer etc.) Oral, informal
agreements, expectations. Dances with wolves culture - if you see or hear
something that's really not your business, just pretending you did not see
or hear. Even if you observe X that does not make it open for discussion.

What was the biggest surprise for you about living at Great Oak. That could
be an icebreaker but people might need some time to think about it.

Susan - I facilitated an alt meeting that Pam had, maybe a year ago? Where
she went around ahead of time and talked with some of the newer members -
what would they like to know, what didn't they understand, and then at the
meeting she had older members there to answer the specific questions that
Pam had come up with. May have had to do more with the meals system and
work days? That may have only been a year ago?

Conflicts we've known and loved!

We have created cultural norms around children and parenting that may not
be apparent. Esp around non parents interacting with kids.

Living Well with Children - years ago we had two weekends of work about
this and asked every single parent, if someone is having a problem with
your child how would you like them to approach you. We should do that again
with all members not just new members! Kids get older and adults change
too. Living Well with Children 3, preparing for Spring. And its an April 1
meeting. Would be a good way for content to be meaningful for all.
Made the point that for parents of adult children, this applies too! Want
people to go direct with the kids.

Good to review all the toy stuff - picking up toys and labeling toys and
community toys etc.

Could dig out the minutes of Living Well with Children I and II - during
the meetings I think we went around and each said how do you want to be
approached if someone needs to talk with you about your children.

And also during the meeting I think we made commitments around:
- all adults cleaning up your own messes
- parents responsible for messes of their children
- commitments to engage (we created the communication pathway)
- commitments to not gossip and go direct
- commitments around pickup up your kids' toys
- commitments around if any adult sees a toy in the walkway they will move
it out of the way to prevent a tripping hazard
- if you see a child doing something you are not comfortable with, esp with
safety, you can interact directly with that child at that time and then
follow up with parent.
- commitments around if someone is mentioned at a meeting who is not
present, someone(s) will make a commitment to go to that person and talk
with them about it so their perspective can be shared, AND just as
important, so the group could still have a discussion it needed to have
even if the person did not choose to come to the meeting.

Sarah was looking through older material and found a Commitment to
effective meeting behavior - and four step process for handling emotion -
how to participate effectively in the plenary as well as in interacting
with the committees - maybe this could go out in writing ahead of time.

Note that we do have a poster or two still, but some were water damaged at
some point.

Communication Pathway review will happen on Monday, good timing.

We worked out all these things at the beginning of GO and then just start
rolling, we forget about them or get rusty at them.

Could create a mock situation in a meeting.

Identify the top five things to cover. Break into five groups, each group
talk about one of the topics - what was the agreement, why did we make it,
do we think its working the way we intended, and new people could ask
questions. Need new people and older people in each small group.

Could each small group come up with a creative way to exhibit their item
back to the whole group - draw a picture, come up with a scenario.

but would we have enough people and enough time

but most alt meetings have low attendance

can we portray it in a way that would attract people - april 1 living well
with children? spring is coming... jaws music... something is coming...
children... its small but dangerous - coming to Great Oak this summer, be
prepared.

trailer - tricycle lying on its side with the wheels slowly turning. A
spoon on a counter in a pile of hot cocoa. A cutting board, a large knife,
a trail of blood, a little voice hey look what I found? Have you seen my
child? Naked two-year-old running down the road by himself.

MONKEY: Sarah will send an email to infoco/process that has links with
related information.

MONKEY: Susan will create an agenda plan and will send it back to all of us
for feedback.

Our next infoco meeting - shall we set it now for the end of this work
season or early next to talk about what we could do at a summer alternative
meeting?

Maybe we can do that a little now too? What are other Process related
alternative meeting topics?

Besides refreshing policy moments, maybe we need to re-evaluate some of
them. Do they still serve us?

Talking about these old agreements builds community, brings us together.

Can we have these conversations without getting in to the punishment piece?

Pets conversation is big - that's more of a weekend conversation than an
alt meeting!

The original intent of infoco using alt meetings was for process related
issues, fwiw.

Meetings may work well and it is invisible as to why when they do work well
- help new members understand why a meeting does seem to be working well -
members who are listening, did their homework, control themselves, if they
feel upset about something they work it through.

Email etiquette is another, seems like we're getting a fair amount of
abuse. Borderline bullying. And some is just people's personalities.

A lot of us went through the process of learning about process together
since we were all learning at once. But there will be tripping and
stumbling when you're new. Might be useful to just surface that. Don't give
up if there are awkward times and moments. Making all the policies that we
did, won't prevent awkward situations from happening, we just did the best
we could with what we knew then.

Explain about putting forth an idea or proposal, needing to put it forth
and let it go, not letting it be personal. People need to be able to be
free to give feedback and help shape a proposal, without the proposer
feeling crushed or personally attacked.

How do we help people learn about facilitation.

How people want to communicate within the community. How does each person
want to be contacted. Texting, phone, email, letter in cubby, in person,
etc.

Its not just, here's this body of work and everyone has to fit in to it,
its also, how do we need to review what we agreed on before and see what
still works. Maybe some things need to evolve, or at least be reviewed with
new perspectives. What new ideas do we have.

Skills and Thrills in the fall about revising Great Oak. What aspects of
community life would we most benefit from reviewing and revisiting with the
input of our many new members? And our aging members, and our demographic
has changed. And our elders feeling like they don't feel so heard here.

Getting to know TS and as their common house comes online how will that
change how we interact with them. Planning ahead for how we can stay in
touch. Get together with TS and talk about how can we stay connected with
you.

Robin has been trying to create more community events for all three
communities. Genevieve too.

The common houses, between TS and GO, maybe we can continue to share -
maybe there are resources we could share in an ongoing way. We share a
recycle thing. TS is able to sign out our rooms maybe we could keep that.
Their CH is small so maybe

When do we want to do an alt meeting in summer? Wed, August 5.

When do we want to get together for our next brunch? Sat, August 1.

MONKEY: Sarah will put herself down as tentative leader, assuming she is
available as it gets closer.

MONKEY: Jillian will send out minutes, and will check in with Process cmtee
about preassigning the Aug 5 alt mtg to Infoco.

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